I’ve been told by several people that they like seeing my Renaissance Festival Pics on my social media! And I love sharing them. It’s hard to believe that the season is almost over. Only 3 weekends left. I have had an amazing time so far this season. Lots of dancing and reconnecting with people. And most importantly really talking with people for the first time.
I have been going to the Ohio Rennaissance festival ever since around 2002 when I first moved to Ohio. I have seen all the shows and purchased so many beautiful items. But, I hate to use the word shy, but that is what I was. I remember as a kid people telling me that I must be shy because I didn’t say much. So, I was labeled “shy”. I took that on as part of my identity, until recently. I realized last night I have told kids they are being shy. Well, I will never do that again.
I looked up in the word “shy”. The Oxford dictionary defines shy as being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people. Well, that doesn’t sound bad. Why did I let being nervous stop me from talking to people more and making a real connection? I have never let being nervous stop me from doing anything for long. But I realized, it’s because I didn’t see it as just being nervous. When I accepted that label as Shy and made it my identity, unless you were family, I believed it would be hard for me to talk to you. That’s the key there. I believed. I have come to see, since the beginning of the year, that I believed a lot of wrong things about myself. As my daughter likes to say, we don’t have time to unpack ALL of that.
So, while being “shy” may have stopped me from connecting with a lot of people, I have made some close friends along the way. I can think of 3 former co-workers who I have stayed closed with in spite of no longer seeing each other daily. I have an amazing support network with extended family and the people from all the different spiritual events I have attended. It just took me a long time to be close with anyone.
I’ve always been the person that sat back and watched and listened. I feel that I have watched and listened enough now. I have found my voice. I’m ready to be seen and have meaningful conversations.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read as I poured my heart out because it is so full right now and must be shared. So, stay tuned for more entries, because I have a lot to say.
PS: Please ignore grammar or spelling errors. If I don’t publish this now, I’m afraid I never will.